Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Hot Debwa

Sticky, sweaty Debwa has sent me a message:

Dear PDP, 

I'm afflicted by this weather for many reasons. Although it is pleasurable sometimes, it makes me very sad when I can't breathe at night and I get sweaty after walking half a mile. I also have an urge to punch people when they mention the temperature every five seconds. And then I realise I DO THAT TOO. So, what's the answer, pug? How do I cool down?

Yours stickily
Deborah in York

Welcome back Debwa! I is very sorry to be so late in replying. I know you isn't liking the mentioning of the heat, but I fink my little claws would have been slipping all over my laptop yesterday if I has attempted to respond.

Now, Debwa, are you sure it's just the mentioning of the heat that is making you want to punch people?

It is true, human beans is most definitely enjoying the communal banter about da wevver in this country. "Ooh, is we ever going to have anyfing other than rain I ask you? It's like living in a bleedin monsoon round ere!" then 2 weeks later "Oh my DOG! I wish it would rain, it is too bleedin ot innit! How is we meant to cope? Me poor petunias is all droopy."

I remember, when I was a pup, that we was all just getting on with it. The wevver just happened and you couldn't be looking it up on the t'internet about how hot it will be on Friday in Dunfermline at 5.23pm. If you wanted to know, you just waited until that time and took a gander out the window.

One day, Debwa, we will be having sea esthers, like they has in Spain. And then we can hide in our air conditioned houses and avoid other people from 12-4 (The Punching Hours).

Until then I is suggesting a pack of wet wipes for your sticky bits. Oh, and a t-shirt that says Hot and Punchy.

I hope this is helping and please to be letting me know how you i getting along. Fank you for mailing, it was Pug de Probleme.

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